"One of my favorite pastimes is to gather up my plastic straws, take them with me on vacation and dump them on the beach."
"Here's another frickin packet yo"
"Sit down you bozos"
"lUcAs!!! yOuRe sUcH a gEmIni!!!"
"Only one died over thanksgiving break because I forgot to feed them."
"No Evan. It's not pee."
"I did actually fail a kid one time because he was rude to me."
"You're going to bully children? Tell me how because I love to bully children too."
"Oh yea, I forgot. He's an expert on apples."
"Shame... Shame... Shame.. Shame..."
"Some kids CAN read!"
"WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO??? FIRE ME???"
"Nolan, I swear, you're a 90 year old man reincarnated in the wrong timeline."
"A shower a day keeps everyone away... wait, no."
"Mommy and daddy's money won't buy your way through life."
"On your way back, please bring me back some hope and sanity"
"We should do the bowling ball experiment, but drop it on Liam's head."
"Believe it or not, I do have feelings."
"Everyone give Telman a round of applause."
"What do I look like, a calculator?"
"I wish you were a fly so I could hit you with a fly swatter."
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